I don't get it. My daughter just told me that her friend who is 13, same as she, has an offer from victoria secret to model juniors underwear. I want to scream! What is wrong with the parents that they would let their 13 year old and quite innocent I might add, daughter model in her underwear for the world to see? What is wrong with this world?
No wonder I have a dark cloud that won't go away when I can't make sense of the idiocracy in this world. Geez!
My depression seems to be getting worse. I have an appointment with my doctor this Thursday I have to tell her the depression is really bad. I hate doing that, because I put on this happy face for everyone and it is so hard for me to act how I really feel. I think I am very good at covering up the truth. I would really like to get in bed pull the covers up over my head and shut the world out for a time. That is how I really feel. But instead I put one foot in front of another and paste the smile on my face. Most people don't know.
Why has this sprung up? My journaling won't reveal it, although honestly, I get my journal out and the notebook feels like it weighs as much as several bricks and the pen feels like a log. I try to formulate thoughts and all I come up with is something akin to a blank stare, my thoughts seems sluggish, and thick. I can't seem to do it.
Like now when I was just typing, it was as if the wall went flying out from the back of my computer monitor and the monitor came flying into me. What is going on? Lord Jesus take it away please!
1 comment:
I feel I must put on a smile because no one wants to be around someone who feels like they barely have the strength to hold their head up. Who wants to be around a downer all the time? My body posture would be slumped over with my head propped up on the chair or wall or the nearest prop. I just don't feel like I have the strength to exist.
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