There is this black cloud hanging over me. My thoughts are not suicidal, but I just can't think, I can't remember things. I have no energy. It is work just to type this. And contrary to popular belief when depression takes over, I don't sit around and think whoa is me. It is more an apathy that won't go away. I find myself very short with people and especially the children.
Troy held me and gave me a big hug in church this morning. I needed that more than anything, I had to fight back the torrent of tears that threatened to bust loose. I have told God I need something.....I don't know what. That hug must have been it. I thank God for that gift, and for him being sensitive to what God knew I needed. I want the cloud to go away, but I don't know how to get it to go away. A friend of mine ask why I didn't just trust God, I do! But.....is depression physical and spiritual, can I make it go away? I wish it would....
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