Affirmations

I have so wanted to keep this blog positive, but the weight of the world seems to be on my shoulders and I can't shake it off. Depression is a bad thing, I can't seem to shake it off, it is as if I have a huge weight tied to each of my appendages and I can't pick the weight up and lug it around any more. I don't want to put one foot in front of another, but I must. My kids cause me so much grief right now because of them being teenagers, well all except my youngest he is so sensitive to what is going on. My daughter is 13 and is just please as punch to bring all her drama into my world and then think it is no big deal. If only she knew how it is almost more than I can handle right now, if only I could let her know that I am at a breaking point and enough is enough. My oldest boy is a little more aware but he really needs a servant, someone to wait on him hand and foot. I don't have the energy for it.

I need a job, I am good at what I do and I would make someone an excellant employee. I will no longer need to stress out about the bills that go unpaid.

I feel like God wants to squash me. Today I accidently got into a hornets nest, under my mom's porch railing. I was being swarmed by hornets, I only got stung twice but boy did those two times hurt like the dickens. The last time I was stung by a hornet I was physically sick for 3 days. We shall see.....

When will it ever end? It feels like never.

ART FAIR!!

Today is the art fair, I am so excited I can't wait to go. This is one event that makes my heart leap, makes me look to the future, makes me hopeful. I love to go to the art fair, because it inspires me and gives me knew ideas and makes me feel alive again. I can't wait. I so admire all of those artists that participate in this event. There are bead artists there, painters, photographers, glass artists and more. The board that chooses artists for this fair does a really good job of picking out the best of the best. I can't wait!

I have been making some artwork of my own and I will post them in the next post. I think I have finally found my niche as to what I am good at, what I enjoy and what people will like. I love art!

this and that....

There seems to be so much! My oldest son turned 16 on Thursday. Wow! 16! Where has the time gone? I looked back through the pictures and it is hard to believe that cute little curly haired imp is almost a man. At 6'3" you would think I would see that young man but I don't somehow I still see that little curly haired baby, it is weird how that works. In one month I will be turning my baby loose on his own into the world when he begins driving on his own. Scary thought. But he is a good driver although distracted easily, typical of youth.


I went to that job interview and they were just trying to bump up their freelance list, not hire anyone. Sigh....I have several hundred other resumes and applications put in but no one calls me. I don't get it. I am talented, and very skilled and yet the doors don't seem to be opening. And yet the bills that aren't paid continue to stack up, I have never not paid my bills, but I can't pay them, and it is not credit cards and extravagant debt that I have. It is utilities, doctor bills and house and car. What is going on? I don't get it.