If Santa could get a letter from me.....

If it was possible for Santa to get a letter from me here is what I would write...

Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is for my 16 year old daughter to regain her innocence and to be safe from these men who are trying to get her into prostitution and protected. I want her to be tucked safe and sound into a facility for troubled kids before Christmas so that she could experience what Christmas is really all about, even if it is not with her family. I would like for her to be part of our family again. I would wish that we could be best friends again.
And Santa, I would like help finding another job, preferably near where ever my daughter goes or better yet a job I could do from home with a paycheck I could count on. You see I lost my job at General Motors because of budget cutbacks and as a single mom with no other income coming in I am really worried about how I am going to make ends meet. It doesn't have to be a job that is makes me extremely wealthy I have only ever known struggling to make ends meet, just a job that pays the bills would be great.
I am sorry Santa that I am not putting up a tree this year or decorating. My heart just isn't in it this year with my daughter being gone from home and my two boys living with their dad this year.
Do Christmas miracles still really happen Santa? I have always believed in the majic of Christmas but this year the majic seems to have waned and I want to believe so badly that miracles do still happen because I feel like I really need a miracle this Christmas.

Sincerely,
Lisa Schwaberow

Job application

I have applied for a Social Media Manager position with the company I currently work for. I am so excited about this position! From the job description it seems as if the majority of the work would be all about blogging, facebooking, myspacing, twittering and more! I think that would be a dream job to have to do those things all day long for your company. The company I work for would be easy to get behind I have used their products for years and love them. I love blogging, and I have even been reading books on how to make money blogging. I have been perusing boards that need bloggers thinking that I would like to get serious about this, but to be able to blog full time for a job would be like a dream come true.

My sister said that they are going to look at the fact that I am not a young kid but if they would take the time to get to know me they would see that I am a kid at heart and all of these social networking sites are a fascination of mine. Heck I introduced MySpace to my teen age kids! Of course in Olivia's case I wish I wouldn't have..anyway hindsight ey? I skype, I IM, I text, I chat, I post on forums, I LOVE to write, everything the job posting wanted for this position, I get really excited when I think about using this medium to promote product, I just can't believe that a company would be willing to pay a person for that, especially for a product that is so reputable. I suppose it is those years of retail sales that make that an easy concept. Everyone has always said that I could sell ice cubes to Eskimos, maybe this is a way to use those skills with my love of the internet. Maybe I don't understand the job fully but I am hoping to have the chance to learn more about it. I have applied for dozens of jobs but none of them have excited me as much as this one. I will let you know if anything comes of this.

Thanksiving

Another Thanksgiving in the past. There is so much to be thankful for but this year has been harder. This was the first Thanksgiving without my sister Linda being here. Her passing was in everyone's mind but we didn't talk about it much. Oh sure there were little comments here and there....Mom, made her special cutout cookies and Linda used to always complain that there wasn't enough icing, someone commented on that. She was on all of our hearts. Alex too was with a family that we didn't know for Thanksgiving, a surrogate family out near the marine base. This was his first year away from us since joining the Marines. Then Olivia, and her problems, we haven't seen or talked to Olivia in over 2 weeks. Olivia as well was in all of our minds but no one wanted to talk about it - least of all me.

But even with all of that there was so much to be thankful for - family, love, support. I am thankful that Olivia is safe and protected. I am thankful that Linda doesn't have to suffer in that body in anymore and I am thankful that Alex has found purpose in his life.

I am thankful for having talents and skills that will help me find a new job somewhere! I am thankful for having the peace of knowing that everything will work out for the best.

I believe too, that Thankfulness is all about attitude, a sort of PollyAnna effect on the situations in life. Look for the good, the "glad" passages, of every situation.
For instance my job situation, now is the perfect time to be free to go any where in the country if I find a job in another state. I have always wanted to go and everything is in place to make that easily attainable.

If the holidays cause you to be depressed - take stock of your attitude - one small shift in your attitude might make all the difference in your world.

Amazing! I am being watched over...

Yesterday, I woke up thinking, my alarm should be going off soon, I wonder what time it is? I looked at my phone and lo and behold it was 6 am, my alarm is set to go off at 5:30 am! I turned the volume knob and no sound, I turned my radio off and then back on and it the sound was fine. Well I rushed around did all of the things I needed to do and headed out the door. I realized on my way to work I forgot my scarf, not a big deal really but I hate being cold and a scarf helps that immensely! Then I get over to the expressway and the police have it shut down, grumble, grumble, grumble, this made me 30 minutes late for work. But changing directions I remember reading in a book one time that if things aren’t going as they should keep your eyes and mind open because something is going to happen that is supernatural or a misfortune of some type is lurking about. I pondered that and then turned the radio on to hear if the traffic report had any reason for the expressway to be blocked off. Well……they had shut down the expressway because there was a 30 car pile up that I would have been involved in had I been on time, I pass through there every day at about the same time and it was during that time that the accident happened. Now you skeptics out there can say, “oh, it was just coincidence…” and I might agree, but can you explain why my alarm went off just fine this morning with no problems? Hmmmm, sounds like much more than just coincidence to me! Any thoughts?

Sigh....my heart is heavy

My heart is heavy....my daughter is a willing victim. She has these evil men, guys in their early to mid 20's pursuing her. She is only 16 years old. They are african american men. She says I am racist, I tell her that if these guys were white I would be reacting the same way, it is not a matter of race but a matter of morals. These guys have gotten her in real trouble on more than one occassion. I see signs of gang activity, I see poor attitudes, and a hate for me that is un-nerving.
She has brought so much trouble into our lives and she views it as all my fault. As a parent I probably have brought it on because I am not willing to let her continue on the destructive path that she is on, but ultimately it is her actions that is bringing this all upon herself. How do you get a child with such poor self esteem to see that these guys don't care about her and that they are using her?
The hardest part is not throwing your hands up in the air and saying I quit. For how much anger, arguing, and hatred can a person put up with. But then I look at this young lady and I remember the little girl, that laughed and giggled and was so tender and caring to her family and it is for that little person that I throw on my uniform of war and put on my tough mental attitude to go to war for. I know she has to be in this tough shell of turmoil, she must be in there somewhere.
I just re-enrolled her into the local high school instead of the online high school.
She has a court hearing this week. Most likely they are going to send her to the youth detention center for a week. This breaks my heart. She has an enthusiasm for school right at the moment. She is talking about joining the chess club, and track in the spring. I am excited these are positive changes, but will the week in the detention center hurt her or will they just reinforce the positive changes she is trying to make? I am so afraid she will quit, give up and that this will just make things worse. But then again maybe, just maybe they will reinforce the fact that she needs to take stock in her life. Because ultimately no matter what I do or say or what the courts do or say it comes down to one thing - SHE must decide to make the changes in her life. NO ONE can do that for her.
I feel so alone....I am not a bad parent, my other children are fine. But this is a lonely road it seems. I can't find any support groups of parents with wayward children, to get advice and help from. I guess this is something that must be swept into a closet and endured on your own.
So for now I pray, thank God for those times when He lets me know that my daughter is up to no good (supernaturally there has been MANY times) and trust that I am being guided by a power that is much more wise than I am.

New Buzz Word

I just heard a new buzz word Obamanomics....I don't know why but that just tickles my funny bone!