My books....

I wanted to post about my books, not too many people know that I have two books in the works.

The first book, a book on front porches, people in my hometown on their front porches. A book to revive the front porch culture of america. There is so much that happened when people stopped sitting on their front porch. Do you know that crime went up when people stopped sitting on the front porch? Do you know why people stopped sitting on their front porches? Two things brought it on. The first was air conditioning. When people started installing air conditioning they didn't want to sit on the hot front porch anymore. And TV came out around the same time. No longer did people want to sit and visit on the front porch, they wanted to watch this new invention and stay cool. No longer did people keep up with their neighbors, they didn't know what was going on with each other. And think about it. If you lived in a neighborhood where everyone sat on the front porch porch at night, how many drug dealers would you have living in YOUR neighborhood? A LOT less. This is a book that would be easy to get on a soapbox about and go around and lecture with a multimedia presentation.

My second book - "Saved By An E-mail" a collection of over 3000 emails between a person struggling with so many issues in their life - divorce, single parenting, abuse, addictions, depression and a Pastor/Counselor trying to effect real change in that persons life. Follow along in this book to see how this person starts a journey of positive life changing habits and changing of thought patterns to become a healthy productive individual achieving great things in their life. A story sure to help everyone that has struggled with life, that they too can overcome difficult situations to come out a winner! Afterall who doesn't want to read someone else's emails? ha ha!

Life is....

I have had a cloud hanging over my head. I shouldn't, a lot of exciting things are happening, but still the depression hangs there ominously. I can't seem to shake it. I get to meet Patty Duke tomorrow, a get together with her and a few others, wow! How exciting is that? I have admired Patty Duke and been a fan for a long time!

I found out today that I have a gallery show June to July, how awesome is that? A local art gallery set up a show for me at a chic beer and pizza joint. I mean this is what I have been striving for right?

So why does this cloud linger? I am over this, I have moved past this depression, I have changed my attitudes I claim good things, I, I, I, damn this depression.....will it never go away?

Of course after learning about Picasso, Matisse, Jackson Pollock and others I am in the company of great! So I should be glad for the depression, maybe it is a gift, maybe that depression is the very same thing that feeds my creativity, maybe it is the thing that makes my artwork great. Maybe it is because of what ever causes the depression causes the creative part of my brain to explode with sparks of ideas that I can use to create works of art?

Now if the depression will just hold off long enough that I can study well enough to get through my final. I pray it does. Because when that fog settles in it is hard to focus on anything.

I like this philosophy

I have a college professor that I admire. I really like his style and his philosophies, he wrote this on his blog:

How realistic am I?

One day I want to be a published author and spend my days writing, painting and doing the ocassional lecture. Is that realistic? I think so. Is it a dream? Sure. But why not dream big. I've done my best to surround myself with friends who are positive and who are actively pursuing their own dreams. I've lost some friends and aquaintences by doing this, but the way I look at is like this...if you have a talent, a gift, use it. If all you're going to do is complain about how cheated you are by life, God and everyone, because you aren't the success you thought you were going to be, then I don't want to hang with you. Go away. - Allen Etter

I have been beginning this same attitude the last few months and this so eloquently sums up what I have been trying to achieve. I am getting rid of the negative people surrounding me, as much as I would like to change them they must do it themselves. I have been working on keeping my attitude positive and looking for the good things. Much as Allen has stated that he has lost some friends and acquaintances this way I too feel some of the people around me slipping away. I am going to be the same as the people I surround myself with. Like attracts like. I choose to attract success and happiness and postivity in my life. Like my professor, I too want to be a published author and pursue my artwork and lecture or teach (I have two books in the works, and I am promoting my artwork). I want to make this world a better place. Jesus did not focus on the bad things in a persons life, He always emphasized the positive aspects. Celebrate your talents, gifts and the steps of change you achieve every day, keep your eyes on the long term but focus on the here and now. One day at a time....

Cool Puzzle site

This is a mathmatical 3D spatial puzzle - very cool and harder than I thought it would be. Be careful you might lose a few hours!

BLOCK PUZZLE


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hmmm.....

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

What Color Is Your Brain?

Sigh...

Last night I had to drop my youngest son off with his dad, Olivia was there and she would come around and talk to me even though I asked her how school went. Is she ignoring me? Is she ashamed? Is she mad at me? Does she really hate me? These are questions I can not dwell on. I love her and hope she comes back to me someday.

My heart still feels heavy but I am trying to over come that. I do NOT want the depression to settle in again. I must keep journaling and doing what I know to fight off the cloud that is threatening to settle over my head.

Random thought:
I was setting goals for myself and when it came to weight loss I want to lose 70 pounds. That doesn't sound like so much when you hear stories of people losing 150 pounds! 70 seems like it would be pretty easy! I must do it by this fall, now that might be the tricky part!

Life is so empty

My daughter is gone, really gone. I know I am going to see her tomorrow night to pick her up and take her home from dance class, but the house seems so empty. Her kitty walks around like he is lost, and I feel the way he is acting!

Levi had to write a paper about a scary time in his life. He told me that it was either when I left his dad or when his sister moved out to their dad's house. How sad. Divorce is a terrible thing. If anyone is reading this and you are contemplating divorce thinking it will make your life easier....think again. It compounds the problems and makes them all worse.

I really do miss Olivia. I was told today that she did the self made tattoo because a gang at school was wanting her to join and she did not want to. She told her dad that they told her to tattoo herself or they would go after her little brother. I don't know whether to believe this or not since there have been so many lies told in the last few months, and she acts like she hates me. I don't know what to think anymore. Will we ever be friends again?

Heart pains...

My 14 year old daughter has been full of anger for about a year now, and rebellious. I have tried to get her to talk to me and she has refused to go talk to a counselor. I don't know if she is angry at me, or something at school, I just don't know. She has decided to go live with her dad. She is leaving tonight. I feel like someone is ripping my heart out of my chest. A mother and daughter are supposed to have a special relationship right?

I think she is going to be less happy at her dad's. They live in a trailer in the middle of the country with no one around. He is much much more strict than I am. She has made comments that make me think that she has no concept of what the realities are going to be but I have tried to talk to her and she absolutely refuses to let me in and open up and tell me what is really going on. My heart is breaking, I wish I could save her from her decision but maybe the best thing I can do is let her go, and I will but it hurts so......

It was a bittersweet day on Saturday. A full page article with pictures of my artwork came out in the paper and my daughter decided to go live with her dad and leave me.

Great Group!

I went to a meeting with other graphic and web designers. It was great to meet new people and talk "shop". Got a lot of new sources and ideas for things! I am stepping out of my protective box of only knowing "church people". It is really exhilerating!

Click here to check out
The I-69 Visual Design Meetup!