Lucky?

I don't feel lucky. I was told today that people don't want to hire people who are not good looking.....in other words.....you are fat and so that is why you can't find a job....they did not say it in an unkind way, nor mean it maliciously. I am never eating again....well at least not very much. No more pop or juice - water only, I have been neglectful to let my self get so big. I was a size 9 when I got pregnant with my third child, it was a wonderful pregnancy and since I felt good I ate a lot, I will take it off I said, but I was too busy chasing kids that I didn't take care of myself - big mistake and now I have to do something about it. From this day forward only very small measured bites will enter these lips. Aside from my sucky financial situation and things looking overwhelmingly bleak, I am never going to get a job - because I am fat, because I have poor credit because of my ex-husband. Just because.....and GOD is in control of it all isn't he? He really doesn't give a damn, no miracles in his pockets. I am glad the kids are going to camp (on a scholarship) next week, because there is not going to be much food in the house after this weekend. And I am not eating so that will be just fine.
I can't drive my car any where or at least I shouldn't because the plates are expired, and the church helped with that but of course the mail the check and since the bmv is not open again until Tuesday......the electric is due to be cut off next Friday, and I have not income coming in from anywhere. The gas is due to be shut off sometime next week, I just ignore it, maybe I won't need it. My rent went up to $805 dollars and I have no money anywhere, and I can't find a job. You know I just can't see a solution, I keep applying for jobs but.....what's the point? I don't have the energy or any kind of bubbly attitude to do a good interview. I am angry, angry at this world and angry that I have talent but because of other circumstances that have nothing to do with how well I could perform a job they won't consider me.