attitudes

I have been thinking of my attitudes lately. I have two glorious weeks off from work. I hate my job, I want to cry every time I walk in the door. The politics kill me. My boss loves fear based management, and she loads it on thick, telling me that people think I am incompetent and so on. And based on a couple of things lately, I don't think this is true at all but she just tells me that. I caught her in a lie last week and paid dearly for that. She tells me constantly to be looking for another job, and then when I have brought this up she tells me that she has only told me this a couple of times! When in reality I hear it once a week at least, but I am not going to argue with my boss so I let it go.
Anyway back to the attitudes. I don't want to go back after this two weeks off, I have tried and tried to find another job, but with no luck. I keep thinking every day, I don't want to go back...well I am practically ruining by time off by thinking of the fact that I don't want to go back instead of enjoying my time off! I must adjust that attitude!
(but I truly don't know what I am going to do if I do have to go back....sigh.....)
Snap out of it I tell myself, God has a plan...my daughter wants to move out of the state and it is very tempting, very very tempting! It just scares me - the thought of packing up everything, and moving where I don't know anyone. God would have to open the doors wide open there to get me to move. I am a bit of a fraidy cat I suppose.
At the same time I have websites coming at me that I must turn down, now what is up with that? I try to be self employed and can't find work. I get a full time job and the work just pours in! I don't get it! grrrrrrr...........